sorry its been so long, im really not good at this blogging thing! im trying tho! anyways, i measured myself today and ive lost 5.25 inches since the last time i measured!! im SO SO SO PUMPED!! i go to JC tomorrow to weigh in so wish me luck!! lol, but over the past week-two weeks, ive been given a peace about this whole idea of dieting/losing weight--. just about how i AM making the effort and i AM doing my best, and i KNOW the weight will come off, its all a matter of time....Last night i was reading in my devo book (which i desperately need to do more of) and it was saying that it is so hard for those people who HATE themselves to LOVE others. How is it possible to LOVE ANYONE when you have so much hate for yourself??? God has called us to love our enemies, love those who do not yet know HIM, and it cannot be done, if our every thought and way of thinking is influenced by our own hate for ourselves..... i never realized it, but thats EXACTLY what i have been going through....I HATED looking at myself in the mirror, or in pictures, or just being out in public IN GENERAL, because i hated myself so much and EMBARRASSED of how i looked.....( my weight being the KEY here).... but i feel God has freed me from that burden and this HUGE weight has been LIFTED off of me, and i have a THOUSAND TIMES more faith in myself, in GOD, and in the FACT that i WILL lose this weight,.... I feel that there has been this TREMENDOUS choke-hold the devil has had on me with suffering from the constant judging of myself-- in how i look, what i wear, where i wear it, and who will see me....... i was never able to see God through MY OWN SELF DISCRIMINATIONS.......
i am proud to say that the devil HAS NO HOLD ON ME!!! lol, can i get an AMEN!! lol, but last night i ALSO went through my WHOLE closet, and tried basically EVERYTHING on to see what fit, what was getting looser, what was fitting a little better, what sizes i was getting into.....and it just gave me such a GREAT excitement!! knowing that i am SEEING results and that it IS happening is SUCH an encouragement!! i KNOW you know what im talking about!!! there are some pairs of pants that i wont be able to wear anymore of!!
and you've done SUCH AN AAAAMAZING JOB!! you have DEFINITELY been an inspiration to me throughout this obstacle and througout the ENTIRE TIME ive known you!! you've always been there, and i am MORE THAN BLESSED that God would choose ME to be one of your friends!!!!!! I LOOOOOVE YOU!!!
have you gotten to go with your mom to go shopping yet????? we'll DEFINITELY have to hit the shops when you're here!!
my short term goal (before going back to school) is to be a comfortable size 12, which i KNOW is possible because some of my 14's are getting looser!! Ive got some new CUTE 12 pants that I REALLY want to wear to school!! and ALLLL of my old stuff that ive held on to since i was at SNU! hahaha....
but please continue to pray for me and i will, you!!! keep up the AMAZING work!! I LOVE YOU SOOOO MUCH!! no words can express!!! ;)
2 comments:
I commented on this a couple of days ago. Don't know why it didn't show up! Well, I'm sure you've had your weigh in by now, so you'll have to tell me how that went. I'm glad that you have an inner peace about dieting and exercise. The biggest thing is to realize it's a lifestyle commitment that you have to ease into. It's not a system of punishments and rewards, if that makes sense. I'm proud of you for doing your best! You are seeing results. Doesn't that feel good? There are good days and bad days and just DAYS. I haven't been too good about devos lately, either. Perhaps we need to keep each other more accountable about that, too!
You are completely right. It's so hard to love ourselves. Especially as Christians, we often emphasize the fact that we aren't perfect and are doomed to sin instead of emphasizing the fact that we are alive in Christ and created in God's image. It's hard for me to accept the fact that nothing I can do can save me. It's only by the graceful act of God that I can be righteous. So whether I fail, whether I go through a valley, whether I sin, nothing can separate me from that love because it's not about what I do, but about what He did for me. It's that realization that transforms us and creates any good. Body image plays a DISTANT, DISTANT second fiddle to inner peace.
You know, as well as I, that even when we see results, even when we have reached a reasonable weight, that there's always something that we will be unsatisfied with about ourselves. That just proves that we need to love all of ourselves and embrace our weaknesses and flaws or else we'll never be happy!
I am glad that burden of doubt and self-consciousness has been lifted from you! Now maybe when you get a compliment, you won't say WHATEVVVVERRRRR! ahahaha!
I have faith that you will reach your goals, and I am proud of you that while you are losing, you are growing and become more whole of a woman. I am seeing great changes in you, Candace Sarah Snyder! And I LOVE YOU FOR IT!
time for another blog entry!!
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